"I'm too proud to beg for your attention and your friendship and your time/So you can come and get it from now on..."--Brandi Carlile, My SongAfter a rough month of working too much, stressing out about what my next step in life is supposed to be and trying not to let my friends and family's opinions sway me too much, and some really confusing love life issues, (not to mention being sick), I have finally finished a few projects at work, the semester, and turned in my application for a "real" teaching job at ASM. I feel fantastic. It took one last twelve hour workday without stopping for food or drink to get it done, but boy was it worth it! Who needs drugs when you've got endorphins?!
All the stress and confusion led me to be this crazed lunatic person I hardly recognized and had serious trouble respecting. I was damn lonely (not counting when Molly and Mom were around) but when people were with me I felt even worse. I felt clumsy and boring and absurd. Which, of course, made the love-life issues even more ridiculous. Sigh... I know I'm being hopelessly optimistic to think that I'm totally over all of that, but hey, I can't help it.
Hooray for being human again! Hooray for being excited about life! Hooray for having a sense of humor again and not being completely self-absorbed! I want to shake my booty to James Brown or kiss a complete stranger or do a cartwheel. I saw a girl in the metro on roller blades and I had a brief moment of regret for being such a putz. Wouldn't it be so satisfying to glide through the streets in utter abandon?
Anyway, the total irony of all of this is that I'm rocking out to Brandi Carlile today. She writes some very sad, very angsty music that is full of power and life. Isn't it strange that the saddest songs can make you feel so happy? I suppose the angsty "My Song" doesn't entirely fit how I feel right now (my mind is rarely full of razors, let alone right now) but the raw energy and strength of the chords and lyrics make me feel like I can really kick some ass. But the quote at the top of this post... that one fits perfectly.
I'm strong again! I'm me again! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
All the stress and confusion led me to be this crazed lunatic person I hardly recognized and had serious trouble respecting. I was damn lonely (not counting when Molly and Mom were around) but when people were with me I felt even worse. I felt clumsy and boring and absurd. Which, of course, made the love-life issues even more ridiculous. Sigh... I know I'm being hopelessly optimistic to think that I'm totally over all of that, but hey, I can't help it.
Hooray for being human again! Hooray for being excited about life! Hooray for having a sense of humor again and not being completely self-absorbed! I want to shake my booty to James Brown or kiss a complete stranger or do a cartwheel. I saw a girl in the metro on roller blades and I had a brief moment of regret for being such a putz. Wouldn't it be so satisfying to glide through the streets in utter abandon?
Anyway, the total irony of all of this is that I'm rocking out to Brandi Carlile today. She writes some very sad, very angsty music that is full of power and life. Isn't it strange that the saddest songs can make you feel so happy? I suppose the angsty "My Song" doesn't entirely fit how I feel right now (my mind is rarely full of razors, let alone right now) but the raw energy and strength of the chords and lyrics make me feel like I can really kick some ass. But the quote at the top of this post... that one fits perfectly.
I'm strong again! I'm me again! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
1 comment:
I'm glad you're better. So are you settling down in Madrid for the long-term?
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