Words are powerful. Every moment of every day is filled with words and their intent. My days begin early and end late, filled to the brim with words. Moments are punctuated by a valiant effort to translate my thoughts into some semblance of Spanish. Every word I speak sends echoes inside me of my new respect for language acquisition. The music and gallantry of Spanish captivate and humble me. I feel so fortunate to be fluent in English, such pride in the beauty of metaphor and the melding of cultures in our strange tongue. My gratitude and humility follow me through the day, happily accompianied by music.
“Sing me a lullaby, sing me the alphabet, sing me a story I haven’t heard yet.” –The Weakerthans I often wake to the plaintive songs of Wilco, Jason Mraz, or the Mountain Goats. They coax me into the damp streets, and to their mournful or playful poetry I emerge, squinting, into the brightness of spring.
“Every moment points toward the aftermath.” –Mountain GoatsAt the bus stop the words creak hesitantly from our mouths, arthritic and ornery. Teachers loitering like pigeons on the sidewalk of Gran Via, waiting for the giant caterpillar shaped bus to take us away and dissolve our words into a sleepy silence. The bus Caterpillar eats the teacher pigeons like a twisted fairy tale.
“I have seen your nine to fives wash away your dreams.” –Brandy CarlileThe children’s words flutter around me like a swarm of dusty moths, “Ms. Forslund, can I go to the bathroom?” “Ms. Forslund, what am I supposed to do when I’m finished?” “Ms. Forslund, is that a real story or did you make it up?” “Ms. Forslund, it’s an emergency!”
My words chase them, critical and pleading. “Jacob, do you really think you should choose to sit next to Alex during the lesson?” “Focus Lyndon. You were doing so well!” “I don’t think we have time for that now, you all were so noisy and distracted.” “Let’s surprise Mrs. Allen by walking into the classroom so quietly she doesn’t see us!” “Show me what you practiced this week.” “Happy spider! Thumb on middle C. No, that’s a D, but you were very close!” “Feet flat on the floor, head above hips, breathe deep, and relax.”
Students turn their heads from the piano with pleading looks: “is this right? Can we play something fun next?” Louis’ eyes get big when I reprimand him for not listening to directions, again. I guard my words all day, slipping them through the cracks of my teeth with deliberation and a mustering of confidence. Each word is tested and weighed for clarity, accuracy, and compassion. Each wince at a strong word cuts at me. Each beaming smile at praise lifts my head a little higher.
“Maybe is until the day my dreams will match up with my pay.” –Feist My favorite part of each day is when we’re walking the children to the buses. Clementina and Michaela silently slip their hands into mine and look up at me with their wide brown eyes. I ask each of them how their day went and Clementina replies with an enthusiastic, “woof!”
“I believe fate smiled at destiny.” –Natalie Merchant When my tired feet finally trudge toward the hill to the train station, my head is buzzing with words. I quiet the pleading voices of children, cranky cackles of veteran teachers, and the echoes of my clumsy Spanish with the spread of the city before me. If no one is around, I may shake my hips softly along to the songs in my head before I slip carefully down the hill between the apartment buildings.
“...over numbers unencumbered numbered words; hundreds of pages, pages, pages, of words…” –Jason Mraz