Change is coming. It tends to this time of year. A little timeline of events:
January 2007--Graduated from PLU and ended a three-year relationship
May 2007--Moved to Bellingham
January 2008--Hired by the American School of Madrid and began my process to move to Spain
January 2009--Decided to stay in Spain another year
May 2009--Offered long-term substitute position at ASM
February 2010--Decided to leave ASM (complicated)
May 2010--Secured a job at English for Fun
January 2011--Quit English for Fun due to stress, began work at American Language
February 2012--Decided to leave Spain and move to New York
Whew! I think I have a healthy respect for this time of year. I'm not sure what next year will bring, but with one application to grad school under my belt, I'm feeling a bit more confident that next January and February will be more peaceful.
The last month has been a whirlwind of reevaluating my life, changing directions, and putting actions behind my words. I've felt very human lately. I've made a lot of mistakes, said and done a lot of stupid things, and have been humbled by the kindness of others every day. Nothing about that last sentence is new... but I've been feeling the full brunt of my own imperfections as my mind is struggling to keep up with all I need to process in this move.
I'm young. I'm infinitely young and fallible and crazy and a total mess. I'm weak, I'm silly, I'm annoying sometimes. Sometimes I fart. I'm a reckless flirt and yet absurdly naïve about men. I can be self-righteous and pontificating, judgemental and stubborn. I can be insecure to the point of letting opportunities pass me by or letting people take advantage. I am often late. I'm full of talk and not enough action. And I'm trying so hard to be better that I often dwell on my mistakes to the point of obsession.
And yet, I am constantly told by my friends and family how much they will miss me (Madrid friends), and how much they do miss me (all of you lovely people back home). I am humbled by their acceptance of my faults and their appreciation of my eccentricities. The incredible people here and back home have offered me commissions, essay and resume editing, dinners, parties, support, long chats on skype, chat, or the phone to not just help me through this difficult time, but to make this transition fun.
How do I thank my amazingly supportive family? How do I honor all the relationships that have helped me grow here in Spain? How will much more grateful will I be on arrival in New York, into the enthusiastic circle of friends and the harsh reality of unemployment? I am overwhelmed with love and humility.
And as always, no one says it better than Tim Minchin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDGuPp1np4o
The Last Day
19 years ago
2 comments:
Woo Tim Minchin! Brilliant song.
Meanwhile, "How do I thank my amazingly supportive family?"
Just keep being you. Wherever you are. There's nothing more any of us want than to keep having Jamie Forslund in our lives. Not someone else. Not someone "better" or more "perfect." You're young and naive? You're also wise and mature. You're reckless? You're brave. Uncertain? Wary. Stubborn? Tenacious. Flirty? Optimistic. Obsessive? Valuable.
Point being, you are a very human friend to all of very human us. And that's why we treasure you.
(And p.s., everybody farts.) ;-)
-Kent
Oh, Kent.
Your wide vocabulary has once again made me feel like a warrior-goddess rockstar. :)
Thanks for your kind words. I adore you, and your farts.
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